Statistics hold you back if you believe them

I am the classic statistic. Teen mother, highschool dropout, adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse,bipolar, grew up in poverty, etc. I am also a transfer/reentry/student parent at University of California Berkeley. Many people would think these two descriptive lines make me exceptional somehow. I would like to submit, that I am not exceptional. I am simply willing to explore all the options made available to me and ignore those who would tell me I am not good enough or don't deserve to be where I am today. Many times I have heard, from members of my own African American community, that I am different. I suffer the same hardships, face the same racisms and stereotypes and indeed feel the same love for my community. I am not sure why my grey eyes or proper diction make me such a pariah in my community but it is offensive. I have been called yellow....which if you see my picture I am not...white girl...house nigger...and a myriad of other names meant to separate me from my heritage.

What exactly is that heritage and why is this about statistics? I am simply an African American woman born to African American parents. My family hails from West Virginia and I have traced my geneaolgy back to 1850. Black folk. There is one white woman whose name is Clara Watkins, I believe pre 1850, but I could not find much information on her. Suffice to say I'm as Black as most can claim. Just a bit of history but important because we should know where we come from to understand where we are going...IMHO.

So statistics....my least favorite subject in school was and is math. I took a stats class last semester and learned how a sample gives an idea of what a population make up might look like. I realized statistics are more than the mere data sets we studied in class. There are people behind those numbers. Individuals with thoughts, feelings, minds, prejudices, and loves. I remember being told that my teen parent status meant I had to work extra hard to keep up, that my skin color was indicative of lower chances of success in higher education (Grossmont Community College actually sends out letters to Black students citing the lower graduation numbers of Black students), that my medical history would make school so much harder for me than the average student. But I am the average student. I am individual and that skews the projections in my viewpoint. In stats there is a concept of extrapolations....the data that is outside the expected value range....feel free to correct me on the math concepts....I am not exceptional. I am willing.

Now to tie these two themes together. I recently had a conversation with a couple of friends of mine, one Jewish and one multiracial (all European mix) about race and the future of the black race. In said conversations, the responsibility of correcting the apathy of the African American race was a primary topic. I feel all races must band together to combat what I call institutional apathy. A sense that because we have been marginalized for so long, that we marginalize ourselves and as a people do not struggle against the status quo. We have been taught for so long that Lincoln freed the slaves, and the world is getting better so why complain...give it time, and my favorite "the meek shall inherit the earth, so let's leave it up to god". Poppycock. Bullshit. Whatever else you want to call it. It simply isn't true. While slaves were declared free in 1865, the Freedman's Bureau ( 1865-1872), which was supposed to help Blacks ( and other war vagrants) adjust to their newfound freedom, was poorly run and ultimately failed. The sheer numbers of Black men and women displaced are mind staggering. Slaves. People with no societal value were set free to fend for themselves in a world that despised their existence. Not a very stable beginning. The movements of the sixties that resulted in integration of schools and equal access laws was a healthier beginning. Yeah 100 years later. What was happening in that 100 years that the black race was still called nigger and treated to substandard living conditions? Nothing. Marginalized as labor (much like Hispanics are today) no one cared. No one had taught these beaten downtrodden people to care for themselves. Time and abuse beat the fight out of most people. Time and abuse made them revolt. Thus the movements of the sixties. I'm getting to the tie in. The sixties brought the Black Panthers, a radical Black Militia group and NOI (the Nation of Islam) and other groups that were simply willing to die or kill for freedom and equality. It was the individuals that made the difference. Dr. King, Malcolm X...for sure. But it was the hundreds and thousands of individuals that marched, were imprisoned and beaten to make a difference in the treatment of minorities. These people were not only Black people. The Jewish community was quite instrumental. Organizations like NOW (National Organization for Women) and blessed be...the students white, black, and chicano, these people made the difference. It took a loud voice for freedom to be heard. Individuals. Statistics. United for freedom to shake from these shores Jim Crowism.

We are not in the clear, as Americans or as African Americans. We have this apathy to contend with. The battle started so long ago must now be fought in our hearts and minds and then must continue to the courts and classrooms. My friends disagreed with me when I said, " blacks did not create this mess alone and we will not resolve it alone." I believe with all my dysfunctional heart that it will take our society as a whole (as it did in the sixties) to band together and say this is not acceptable for our children. Any of our children. We must all uplift each other as often as possible. Do away with statistical thinking and think in terms of individualism. Do you know a kid on the wrong path? You don't have to be Black to mentor him/her. Have you seen a wrong being done? You don't have to be Jewish/Hispanic/Female or any other classification, you have only to act. Risk self, limb, and life to speak truth and uplift your neighbor. Asking too much? Yeah well the only change that will come to our society will come from our society.

Again I am classified as a statistic. Technically, with all my dysfunctions I should be a drug addicted welfare mother with babies by many fathers and a penchant for promiscuity. Uh huh. I will leave that to those who choose to believe those numbers mean something. I choose to be a source of inspiration. The higher I go the higher we go. So a note to those I consider my own....don't knock a sista lend a hand and rise with.